marți, 11 decembrie 2012

I'm doing this only to heal myself

"Dear Younger Self,

    I’m writing you this letter fully knowing that you’re going to think everything I’m about tell you is complete bullshi#$# because you are just a scared shitl#$#ss ego-driven kid who is out to conquer the world.
First you should know that your plans to conquer the world are not going to happen. Fortunately some much better things are in store for you, but you’re too blinded by your own ambition to see that right now. Unfortunately your highly addictive,obsessive, and extreme personality is  not going to go away.   Fortunately, once you learn to harness it, it will lead you from a rather self destructive path to a highly productive one.
   The die hard romantic in you will die. You’ll stop believing the love that you hear about in music lyrics, and the love you see in movie scenes. You’ll become cynical, jaded, convince yourself you’re in love, break two hearts and in the end find yourself in a place that’s rather empty. Fortunately, after all that you’ll have a wake up call and come to the profound realization that there is a MASSIVE difference between settling and settling down, only because on some level you you still believe in the crazy love  of music lyrics and movie scenes.
Jobs will come and go, and your career is going to be a somewhat disastrous uphill battle.
  But in all this misfortune you’ll find some great fortune when you finally to start to realize it all happens the way it was supposed to. In many ways your life will be like the second wave in a set (you’ll only understand when you get there). Second waves in a set somehow are always a bigger more adventurous ride. Everybody goes for the first, and most of your friends will make it on the first wave. They’ll fall in love, get married and have kids before you do.  But, just know that the second wave is grand and more often than not is a hell of a ride.
  For the love of god, don’t make such a big deal out of small things. It’s going to be the cause of IBS, ADHD and uphill career battles. The traffic jams, telephone bills and people that get in your way are just a test of your patience and your ability to deal with them. Unfortunately you’ll fail this test over and over again. Fortunately, the failure will leave you with many valuable life lessons. Your greatest weaknesses will actually turn out to be your greatest strengths. I know it’s a tough one to swallow,  but it’s only upon that realization I’ve been able to start turning things around.
  Life will be nothing you like you had imagined. I’ll just say that it will be A  THOUSAND TIMES better. It’s going to take a series of failures, 8 in particular for any of what I’m talking about to make sense and every one of them will make you feel like you’re continually on the verge impending doom. Fortunately the pursuit of being stoked for life will actually save you, even though google puts you as the second search result   for “surfing ruined my life.” Life will continue to throw curve balls at you and to this day it still does. If I could tell you one thing it would be that life isn’t about what happens to you, but how you react to it all. I’d like to say “If I knew what I know now” when I was your age, but I wouldn’t know any of what I know now without having gone through everything above.  So accept the journey as is and let it take its course." 

Forului meu....m-am iertat pentru toate invinovatirile, voite sau nevoite, m-am iertat pentru toate gandurile nespuse, pentru emotiile dinaintea fiecarui examen, fiecarui interviu, m-am iertat pentru lacrimile inutile varsate ale mamei, ale bunicii, m-am iertat pentru toate tipele ce au innegrit peretii, pentru toate filmele nevazute si subapreciate, pentru toate florile ce nu le-am cumparat